Laughing at the Future

I spent the day at a conference called Winds of Change - for Christian professors in secular universities to meet. I had to keep saying that I am "just a PhD student" and not a professor. It is fun to be around people that actually want to hear your dissertation topic. They even have suggestions of books you should read. When we first started the day, I was excited to hear Mary Poplin. She is my professor that is serving as my mentor. She is one radical person. I was reminded that I am not supposed to be her. That my story will be different from anyone else's. Through the first session, I was sinking into this idea that I may not be a professor after all. I was not all that excited about it before, but now it is my direction. It sounds too confined. Maybe that is the reason I can't get an adjunct job? I am gifted to lead. That is what I was made to do.

I felt a strange reality that I may not ever really have a direction - one direction that is. There was lots of networking all day. After a break, one guy at Cal Poly gave me his card and said it is not so hard to get an adjunct job after all. I had to laugh out loud at how God works. It is an agricultural school surrounded by mountains. One of the most beautiful views I have ever seen.

One guy presenting said "God's word to us has always been 'Fear Not.'" It resonated with me deeply. No matter what happens with the economy, with jobs (or the lack of jobs), somehow, we are cared for. I thought of the Prov 31 passage - about the woman wisdom that laughs at the future. Really? That takes some kind of faith. To laugh at the future, laugh at the chains of the past, and to live fully in Christ. I ran when I got home. Since I have decided to stay in my beloved state of freedom, I have smiled when I run. The view, the air, the knowledge that I am here to stay. It overwhelms me and I am happy. I'm sure the drivers in cars going by think I am crazy.

To laugh at the future.