Officially an Obama Convert

He is brilliant. Who else buys a half hour spot during prime time on every network channel and shows a video? Who else has the funds? He offers info by text. He is articulate. He loves his family. He speaks in a way that everyone can identify.

Obama prepared to be President, he didn't just stumble into the opportunity like McCain. I look at him from a leadership perspective. He has a vision that seems huge, but is definitely inspiring. He is willing to face hard issues like the economy and health care - which no one has really addressed in most of my life time.

I saw on the news last week when he sat down at a round table discussion with economists and actually ASKED for wisdom for the struggles. Humility is so important - what a refreshing change. Bush said he didn't care what a room full of university economists had to say about the bailout. Hmmm. I voted for Bush twice. I have voted straight ticket Rebulican my whole life - until now.

I am officially an Obama convert and proud of it!

The Grand Adventure

I decided in April that I would pursue classes outside of DBU, but had a long, long road getting ready to leave. I worked hard to plan the next semester of LTI, arrange camp dates, follow up on anything still undone in my ministry. I had camps and class at Oxford. And the packing, storing, driving to CA...finding a home, paying for class, the list went on. It seemed like it would never come. Now it is almost the end of October! The classes have been eye-opening. I've dabbled in feminist writings before, but now I get to go all in. I used to think there was only one kind of feminist - the kind that I was called at ETBU, maybe. But it turns out there is a wide range - a place for every woman to be a feminist of some version I believe.

I found space. Time to journal. Mornings to sleep in. It took about a month to stop feeling like I was missing a meeting somewhere. I feel more like myself than I have felt in a long time. My biggest issue was finances - as I looked at my goals. What if I had decided it was too much? Too hard to make happen?

I love my housemate. Love my new friends. There is this great area called the Village with restaurants and shops. The Pacific Coast Highway is about 30 miles away and has endless towns with beaches. I wonder if this is just a time of vacation, but I really think God is doing something bigger inside me. Sometimes you just need space.

Blood Diamond

I watched the movie tonight and really liked it. The movie had so many powerful elements. I am inspired to learn more about injustice around the world, see how I might be contributing, and STOP. There is one scene that I will remember for a sermon one day. I knew right away it would be an incredible illustration.

There is a father and son - the son is taken to be a child soldier. His father searches for him and finally finds him. The son has been brainwashed to believe that his parents are dead, they do not love him and he even carries a new name. His father tries to convince him of WHO he really is...and the scene is amazing.

He says something along these lines "I am your father. You are my son. This is your name. I am your father and I am taking you home. Your father will always love you. Your mother is waiting for you, your sisters are waiting, the cows are waiting. I am your father and I will always love you."

I think back to all the times that God has drawn me close to him, has reminded me of his love for me. All the times that he has carried me. How could I ever deny him? I know who I am because of Christ in my life. Because of that love I have known over and over, day by day. God loves me and I love God. There is no other love in my life that could take that place. I have given myself to God so many times - said that all I am is his. But tonight, I say it again. Everything I am, everything I'm not, it is all yours Lord. The love of my life.

Leadership gets complicated

I sat in on a meeting today just to observe. There are some changes being made that do not directly affect me, but are important to the university. I went to show support and to listen. I watched to see what leadership lessons I could learn. Here is what I gathered.

1. Conflict/ change is always in a context. The leaders explained how the current conflict had been brewing for 40 years. "Incubating" was the word they used. We see just the current situation, but there is a long history that is involved. As a leader - I have to be aware of the historical context. Imagine the mistakes that we make with a short-sighted, snapshot leadership perspective.
2. Institutions/ Organizations have so many competing needs/ loyalties. Admin have the responsibility to attract students, raise funds and manage the whole entity. Faculty are committed to their students, to growing in their own knowledge and following the lead of their admin (whether they agree or not). Students are the core of a university - without them, there is no one to teach. CGU has been one of the most student-centered schools I have EVER encountered. So, decisions are made in an effort to balance the struggle of these goals.
3. When a decision is made for you as a leader, people carefully watch how you respond. You do have choices, even when you feel powerless. Being a part of a system means that you "follow the leader." Sometimes you are not the leader that calls the shots - what do you do? Do you fight? Do you submit? Do you make a new path? How do you speak? I always think in terms of A or B, but often, there is a C choice I never suspected.
4. Everyone calls for interdependence and sharing of resources, but some very real challenges surface when you actually live it out. It is like multiculturalism. Everyone loves the idea, but the day-to-day reality is so hard. Every relationship, every decision and every conflict makes us decide if we really believe that our goals are worth it. Will we keep at the relationship and work...to make it work? Or will we decide it is too hard and walk away?
5. As the leader, you need to be ready to explore every detail of the situation. The more full your own knowledge can be, the greater chance you have of answering the random questions of others. Instead of avoiding the areas of conflict, we calmly face them. As something to be studied and learned.

Why blog?

So the blogging movement has been around for a long, long time...why join now? Since I moved to California, my mind is racing with thoughts. It seems I actually have time and space to think. But my thoughts have no where to land. I remember praying last week, when I was particularly angry at the Baptist world, and asking God what exactly I should do with all this energy? I work out like crazy, I talk to friends, I journal - but it isn't enough anymore. Then my friend Ellen asked me if I blog. Something clicked. So here I am.

Do people actually read blogs?

Well...whether they do or not, I'm going to write. I'm going to keep thinking and letting the ideas flow. This is my year of adventure and jubilee, why not?

No more apologies.